Thread: Paying it Forward and the cost incurred.

I have been on the other side of this coin twice. Where a friend lent me something and I was the one who damaged it. Let me tell you, for someone like me, that was devastating! I was taught to return an item to the owner in as good a condition as I received it if not BETTER! In the first case, the owner and I worked things out and I happily paid to repair the item. In the second case the repair costs would be minimal as the item was old and needed work. But the owner demanded that I pay for restoring the item to like new condition. I ended up paying but the friendship was done and over with the minute I signed the check.

For what it is worth (about 2 cents I suspect) here are my thoughts on the issue at hand. If brooksie thought so very much about that particular razor, he should have never lent it out. After he paid $90 for it, he had much use and enjoyment from it. The cost of the same razor has now gone up and are hard to find. But what has brooksie really lost? His original investment of $90! How can he expect the friend to bear his sentimental loss? He is, at the very least, as culpable in his loss as his friend by lending that particular razor out in the first place.

To me, fairness and the ability to maintain a friendship warrants brooksie being the bigger person and letting the guy off the hook instead of waiting to find out what he is going to have to pay for a replacement razor. Tell him $90 will cover the loss and stop beating this dead horse. True friendships are few and far between. The question is, does your friend deserve as much respect and consideration now as he did when you lent him the razor?

Randy

Originally Posted by zib

The only thing I loaned out to a friend/x member was a Coticule, which he did not want to return. I offered to sell it to him at cost, and he still wasn't interested. It was a really nice 6x2 combo. He wanted it for free. The bad thing is, the friendship went south after that. So, I guess I'm with Pixelfixed, I don't loan anything out. It's a nice gesture, but it doesn't always go well....

Just reading that makes my stomach turn! I have no place for that kind of stuff in my life. Call it what you will, but i personally view myself as rather primal.

The way I see it - the days of barter are long gone but those things we buy are the primal equivalent of food to me... even if it's a utility that doesn't sustain life, I bought it with cash that could be used to sustain life. If you take, but do not return, it's as though you are taking food out of my kids mouths. Crazy I know - but to me, stealing is just that...

And when a "friend" does it...

It's the simple truths of life, Like the quote goes, All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten.
"Be Nice" "Clean up your own mess" and this one I really like, "If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.

And of course, If you borrow something, return it in the same condition you got it.

There are definitely two sides to the argument and I understand and won't dispute either angle. In my situation, I was lucky enough to be dealing with someone that understood the value of the item and has no problem replacing it. I'm glad to see all the responses to this thread and the outcomes of different situations.My goal, as I stated, was to provoke interest in a hobby I find enjoyable. The guy who dropped my razor has another razor in his hands right now and did his first 2 pass shave last night. He's a little beat up from it but loved the experience. Who knows if he'll stick with it. He has already said, however, that he'll never go back to applying shaving cream by hand and only use a brush. If that's all he takes from this experience and it makes shaving better for him, then I've succeeded in sharing my, albeit limited, knowledge of shaving

The thread name really mislead/confuses me when it comes to this thread: "Paying it forward and the cost incurred". To me, paying-it-forward (PIF) is like doing a good deed or gifting. We should PIF with absolutely no doubt or reservation in our heart. Here on SRP I will hone or occasionally gift a razor, that's what I call a PIF.

To the OP: In my opinion, you loaned a razor to a friend & he accidentally broke it. Not hard to do in a wet and soapy environment...we buy our shave soaps with lubricity and cushion in mind. Most of us have dropped a razor at one time or another and many of us have broken razors...it happens, just like poop does. Would I let something like that effect a friendship? HELL NO! It's just a razor, friends are a few and far in-between. Hand him another razor, a quality one & not a junker...

Not sure why there is confusion. I was 'mentored' to a certain extent by someone here and found that I really love the hobby as it makes shaving, a requirement of my job, enjoyable. Passing my knowledge and passion on to another military member who dreads shaving, lending him the tools to get started, and being there to answer any questions is what i've tried to do.If I had a VAST collection or the $$$ to procure whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, I probably wouldn't care at all as most everything is replaceable at this point; none of my razors are family heirlooms. The only reason I specifically lent the Wapi out was because my buddy is Polish and expressed quite an interest in that specific blade. He now has my Robeson Shuredge in his posession and is testing it out before he decides if he wants to buy it or not.

I've also made it clear to my buddy that IF he decides to buy one of my razors that I'll hone it for him if it needs touching up. He's also got my strop and my boar brush.Am I out of touch here? Is what I've tried to do not paying it forward!?

Originally Posted by brooksie967

I've also made it clear to my buddy that IF he decides to buy one of my razors that I'll hone it for him if it needs touching up. He's also got my strop and my boar brush.Am I out of touch here? Is what I've tried to do not paying it forward!?

Just giving him the stuff would be.

Giving away things for free is nice when you are in a charitable position, I agree. But as a Corporal in the militay with a year old son, I can't just be giving stuff away, as much as I'd like to. If $$$ was of no issue, then I would absolutely help a brother out and give him some of my stuff. You have to understand as well, I've only been doing this for 4 months now, what I do have is still VERY new to me. I buy things that interest me and intrigue me and for me to get rid of it, without replacing it, isn't doable.

Originally Posted by brooksie967

I've also made it clear to my buddy that IF he decides to buy one of my razors that I'll hone it for him if it needs touching up. He's also got my strop and my boar brush.Am I out of touch here? Is what I've tried to do not paying it forward!?

Lending it forward?

I did the same thing with a colleague here at work. He expressed an interest, so I loaned him a handful of razors. He tried them out, liked one, and ended up buying it. I think what you're doing is definitely paying it forward (incidentally, you have a lot to answer for having raised the spectre of one of my all-time least favourite films with this thread!). You're introducing a friend to something you enjoy and believe he will enjoy. So I think as much as anything by sharing your passion for and interest in this wacky shaving thing you are PIFing. The questions of lending/giving/selling are to my mind reflective of personal situations, relationships, and proclivities. Some will do it this way, some will do it that way. But as long as you're doing it with a positive spirit intending to benefit the recipient, I don't see how it wouldn't count as PIFing.