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My old Saskatoon neighbor, Holden, is in trouble again.
This time for forgetting his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. So she told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds." "AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Holden got up very early and left the house. When his wife awakened, she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a gift wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe, went out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house. She opened the box and found a brand new bathroom scale!
Please pray for Holden, he's been missing since last Friday!
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Marital Bliss....aahh, makes your heart sing.
A thoughtful Scottish Husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub.
He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie - put your hat and coat on, lassie.’
She replied, 'Awe Jock that's nice - are you taking me to the pub with you?'
'Nay,’ Jock replied ‘I'm turning the heat off while I'm out.'
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" Take my wife..Please!!!"
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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra
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A sadist is someone who's nice to a masochist.
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"Personally I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband, if she'll fool a husband she'll fool me."
- Mike O'Hara
The Lady from Shanghai
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A girlfriend is like summer storm. Here today and blown over tomorrow.
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If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error
-- John Kenneth Galbraith,
Canadian-American economist
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I was trying to remember the definition of 'nebulous'... The details are fuzzy.