Thread: Are all Women Crazy?

Now for the serious, constructive advice...

Guys, when you see your girlfriend or wife crying, the BEST thing to do at that point is to go over to her slowly, wrap her gently in her arms, and hold her. You don't have to say a word...

In fact, if you don't know what we're crying about, it's probably best that you DON'T say anything.

Once we feel physically and emotionally loved and supported by you holding us, we will then (usually) spill our guts about what's wrong.

If you encounter any resistance as you're coming over to put your arms around us, then stop immediately. Just stand there and put a very sympathetic look on your face.

The resistance means...

1. You did something bad.
2. You failed to do something...and that's bad
3. She THINKS #1 or #2, even if it is not true.

IMPORTANT: After you've listened to her (which is what she wants you to do), and you start talking, do what the guy suggests in the "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" book (which I highly recommend, since it is a fair book--tells men what they need to know about women, AND tells women what we need to know about men.)

What does the book say?

It says that when your woman is crying, and she starts telling you all her problems and why she is upset, the #1 most important thing for you to do is LISTEN and empathize with her. (Assuming the problems are not things that are your fault.)

What she does NOT want at that point is a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, that's exactly what most men are hard-wired to produce: solutions. You are natural problem-solvers, and most of the time that's great.

Another man would be glad you gave him a solution, right?

But when your woman is crying and upset, what she wants and needs MOST at that point is to be heard and feel supported. The solutions can come later.

Here's an example of how to do the right thing:

YOUR WIFE: "I'm so upset because today at work my boss told me not to ever use the company email to send a quick note to my best friend! And he was so mean about it..." (breaks down into tears.)

YOU: "Wow, I can't believe he did that, that was really cruel." (Give her a hug.) "They shouldn't treat you like that--you deserve better. And besides, it only takes, what...a minute?...to send your friend a quick note. I don't see why it's any big deal."

HER: (Smiles up at you through her tears) "Thanks, honey, that makes me feel better!" (She stops crying and then has good feelings towards YOU!)

Here's an example of how to do the WRONG thing:

YOUR WIFE: "I'm so upset because today at work my boss told me not to ever use the company email to send a quick note to my best friend! And he was so mean about it..." (breaks down into tears.)

YOU: "Well, here's what you do, just go to the XYZ site and download their free demo (scrambler/ghost thing)--it cloaks your ISP so your boss and IT people won't know what you're doing. Here, sit down at my computer and I'll show you how it works, since--"

HER: "Have you been listening to a WORD I've been saying???" (Now it's worse--she's gone from straight-up upset to upset and mad--and the mad is at YOU because from her point of view, you don't get it.

On another note, would it kill anyone reading this to give me a "thanks?" I got none right now. Help a gal out, OK?