Thread: Problems? Ask Aunty Jimbo.

Originally Posted by onimaru55

I thought only Deloreans could go that fast

USS Enterprise
HMS Botany Bay
SWMBO on her way to the mall.

Originally Posted by onimaru55

I thought only Deloreans could go that fast

I admit that the speed of light is yet a goal of mine but I have already run into trouble with blind people at intersections at the speed of sound.

The paperwork is enormous and I want to solve the issue this time beforehand.

"Drop Sheet" in Snowtown writes:

Originally Posted by carlmaloschneider

In relation to the strippers mentioned earlier on. Should one not also use oil with strippers? I'm thinking 'yes' esp if one uses a ground sheet to save messing up the carpet...

Dear "Drop Sheet",

Yes, oil can be used with strippers and indeed some strippers can be bought with their own oil. Just make sure when applying the oil you use smooth and even strokes and cover all parts of the wood.

Aunty Jimbo.

"Food Bullied" in Denver writes:

Originally Posted by Nightblade

Dear Auntie Jimbo I have two curious questions !)What is SPAM made from? I love the stuff and all my Veggie friends are always on my case about how bad SPAM is, 2) I love Marmite but all my Stralie friends are always tellin me Vegemite is better...is there really a difference ? Signed .....Food Bullied in Denver P.S. I bet youy make the best scones in the whole world Auntie Jimbo xoxo !

Dear "Food Bullied",

"SPAM" is a contraction, or perhaps more correctly a portmanteau, of the two words "Spiced Ham". Back when I was a young lass spam was made of meat offcuts such as lamb's testicles, pig snouts, gibblets, and assorted anuses. Nowadays, with our increased knowledge of nutrition and dietary requirements, spam is predominantly made of the broken dreams of the forgotten sub-poverty line underclasses.

Aunty Jimbo much prefers Vegemite to the other "mites" - Marm and Pro. In Her opinion there are vast differences between the mites. Vege - mite is a yeast extract derived from vegetables and is thus nutritious and good for you in every way. Marm - mite is a yeast extract derived from European Royalty (God Bless Her Majesty, by the way, but I am not interested in eating an extract made from her yeast), and Pro- mite is a yeast extract derived from....well, modesty and good taste forbids me from expanding further down that path of iniquity!

Aunty Jimbo.

"Ball Handler" in San Francisco writes:

Originally Posted by mapleleafalumnus

Dear Aunty Jimbo --
Why is it that in American baseball they throw a round ball at you, and they tell you to hit it square?

Dear "Ball Handler"

I have ceased to wonder at the patent absurdities and blatant contradictions that emanate from US team sports. Did you know, for example, that in American football a Tight End can behave as a Wide Receiver? It sounds highly suspicious to me! Dear Uncle Jimbo (God rest his tight buttocks!) had a rather firm bum - it used to jiggle quite enticingly when given a firm smack, and left a tingling sensation on one's hand that was eminently satisfactory.

Aunty Jimbo.

"Dark Matter" in Geneva writes:

Originally Posted by 32t

Dear Auntie Jimbo,

I have a quandary. I was out in the garage tonight working on my Opel and am wondering...

If I drive faster than the speed of light and turn my headlights on what will happen?

I'm, In the dark.

Whenever Aunty Jimbo has a physics problem that she cannot solve, she does what the physicists do: she calls it "dark matter" and leaves it up to smarter people than her to work out somewhere down the road.

However, in your case I suspect that the typical laws of headlight projection do not apply at speeds approaching the speed of light. Furthermore, if you drive an Opel you will have enough problems approaching the speed of walking, let alone the speed of light, so the point is moot.

Aunty Jimbo.

Originally Posted by Jimbo

"Dark Matter" in Geneva writes:

However, in your case I suspect that the typical laws of headlight projection do not apply at speeds approaching the speed of light. Furthermore, if you drive an Opel you will have enough problems approaching the speed of walking, let alone the speed of light, so the point is moot.

Aunty Jimbo.

I disagree and offer the following as proof. As you can see everything is starting to blur!

Dear Aunty Jimbo,
My mother just informed me that I am my own Grandpa. What is the meaning of this? It seems impossible,


I hope you can tell me!
Bruce

Originally Posted by 32t

I disagree and offer the following as proof. As you can see everything is starting to blur!

It would seem that the Opel has no headlamps and is sitting idle. I can count the lugnuts on the wheels! The world is revolving around it? That could explain it! Perhaps Aunty Jimbo can corellate the spining of the earth on it's axis in relation to a (usually) idle Opel? This would be helpful in everyday life.
Bruce

Originally Posted by 32t

I disagree and offer the following as proof. As you can see everything is starting to blur!

Dear "Dark Matter",

I recognise that car. Next time you young hoodlums come around here doing burn outs on my lawn I will take you out!

Aunty Jimbo.