Thread: Problems? Ask Aunty Jimbo.

Originally Posted by pixelfixed

Dear Auntie J
Do you think frogs have water tight rectums?

.............

"Water Sports" in Florida writes:

Originally Posted by pixelfixed

Dear Auntie J
Do you think frogs have water tight rectums?

Dear "Water Sports",

I have been lead to believe that indeed yes, frogs do have a water tight rectum. They can, however, pass water at will in both directions leading to the expression "more irrigated than a frog's colon".

James.

"B.J. McKay" of no fixed address writes:

Originally Posted by jaswarb

Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Dear "B.J. McKay",

Unfortunately Aunty Jimbo is not au fait with current driving parlance or practice. However, when I did still hold a driver's license I recall driving in many places - highway, pavement, median strip, school playgrounds, public parks. I remember dear Uncle Jimbo (God rest his soul) would often exclaim from the passenger seat "God damn woman!! One day you are going to kill somebody!!!" And how right he was.

But your question, dear "B.J. McKay", reminds Aunty Jimbo of Uncle Jimbo's one and only attempt at acting. Unfortunately when he was nervous he used to get his words mixed up, and on this occasion the results were rather unfortunate. He only had one line: "Hark, fair maiden! I come to snatch a kiss, and fill your soul with hope!"

Aunty Jimbo.

Dear Aunty Jimbo,

I know you have strong feelings for Uncle Jimbo (God rest his soul). But even with the possibility of dredging up some buried memories I have to still ask your opinion.

What do you think of the idea of women with missing men putting their picture on beer cans. Oooops! I meant the picture of their missing man not theirs.


Searching Everywhere

¡spɹɐƃǝɹ
˙suoıʇɐɔıpǝɯ ɹnoʎ ǝʞɐʇ oʇ noʎ ɹoɟ puɐ ǝɔnɐs ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇǝƃ oʇ noʎ ɹoɟ ǝɯıʇ sʇı ʞuıɥʇ ı
'oqɯıɾ ǝıʇunɐ ɹɐǝp

Originally Posted by Jimbo

"Hark, fair maiden! I come to snatch a kiss, and fill your soul with hope!"

Aunty Jimbo.

Auntie Jimbo, you are KILLING ME!



Bruce

Originally Posted by Martin103

¡spɹɐƃǝɹ
˙suoıʇɐɔıpǝɯ ɹnoʎ ǝʞɐʇ oʇ noʎ ɹoɟ puɐ ǝɔnɐs ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇǝƃ oʇ noʎ ɹoɟ ǝɯıʇ sʇı ʞuıɥʇ ı
'oqɯıɾ ǝıʇunɐ ɹɐǝp

Dear Aunty Jimbo, why do the people who come from the northern hemispere really believe they are on top of the world, when you can tell just by the way they write, that they have to be upside down, inside out or just plain backwards...?

Signed,
Longitudily confused...Latituduily uncaring.

"Longitudily" in Kakadu writes:

Originally Posted by MickR

Dear Aunty Jimbo, why do the people who come from the northern hemispere really believe they are on top of the world, when you can tell just by the way they write, that they have to be upside down, inside out or just plain backwards...?

Signed,
Longitudily confused...Latituduily uncaring.

Dear "Longitudily",

Aunty Jimbo once had a friend - Mrs Sue Percillious, of the Dubbo Percillious'es. Mrs Percillious was quite proud of the fact that she lived on the east side of our suburb, as it was apparently the better side and would often point out to Aunty Jimbo just how much better her house was. Unfortunately for Mrs Percillious, the great flood of '72 wiped out the entire east side of our suburb, but left we poor West-siders completely untouched! In a cruel and mysterious twist of fate the Percilliouses all perished in that flood - it appears all the doors and windows to their house were blocked from the outside. It remains a mystery to this day.

Anyway, I cannot remember the point of that story, but I am sure there was one...

Aunty Jimbo.

"Searching Everywhere" from Slough writes:

Originally Posted by 32t

Dear Aunty Jimbo,

I know you have strong feelings for Uncle Jimbo (God rest his soul). But even with the possibility of dredging up some buried memories I have to still ask your opinion.

What do you think of the idea of women with missing men putting their picture on beer cans. Oooops! I meant the picture of their missing man not theirs.


Searching Everywhere

Dear "Searching Everywhere",

Yes indeed, Aunty Jimbo does have strong feelings for Uncle Jimbo (God rest his soul). So many things still remind her of him - sausages, salami, chicken and ham rolls (Uncle Jimbo was a butcher). One could reminisce for hours but that wouldn't answer your question now would it?

In Aunty Jimbo's opinion, most women would be better off leaving their men lost! However, given the usual weaknesses of men, using advertising on beer cans is a rather obvious avenue to track them down if one must. I suppose if we followed that idea to its logical conclusion, one should also put pictures on attractive young lady's cleavage and derrières too!

Pictures of men on food and beverage packaging is not new of course. Just yesterday Aunty Jimbo bought a microwaveable container of vegetables by that nice young man Jamie Oliver. Under his picture the packaging said "Prick with a fork" which was rather harsh, I thought.

Aunty Jimbo.

Originally Posted by MickR

Dear Aunty Jimbo, why do the people who come from the northern hemispere really believe they are on top of the world, when you can tell just by the way they write, that they have to be upside down, inside out or just plain backwards...?

Signed,
Longitudily confused...Latituduily uncaring.

For Wullie:
When I lived in south Texas, the old timers considered anyone living north of the Nueces River to be a Yankee. My friends in the South considerd this to be rather harsh.