Thread: Our friend Steve

Joan was taken off the ventilator, she has a mask now
they said if she has trouble they cant put her back on
They will make her comfortable, if her heart stops they wont restart it


she cant see me, she just stares
she will never talk, not even a noise, she will never undersatnd me, see me talk to me
there moving her out of ICU onto a neuoro ward
they thought last night was the end so they cakked me in, she is still breathing but for all intents and purposes she's a vegetable. i was there all nigh, i havent slept for, i dont know along time

god why her, she doesnt deserve this, it should be me
I hate to even think it but if she could just go to sleep gently and not wake up it would be better because I will have to tell thm to stop everything and let her go
I cant' im not strong enough' all i do is cry

Life is inconceivable without Joan

Whats the fucin point, theres jno point, i just wannt her back so much
She wouldnt want to live not even knowing she alive but I cant, please dint make me
someone come here and do it for me please

I need to go ow and sit
this house is full of her clothes and nick nacks
I hate thism i hate life without her
I did this to her
I was mean, I made her cry and now she dying, I cant tell her Im sorry
Im a horrible person and i made her have a stroke, I will never get over this, I dont want to

Im usless and im weak

No words for you Steve, none that would help.
Stay strong and steel yourself for whichever way this takes you, and your wife.
God bless.

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I am so sorry to hear this.
I had to make that decision for my Mother. I could not ask her to live like that. It tore me up to do it but I had to show her mercy. My Mother and I had to do the same thing for her sister. The comfort is knowing that there is no more misery.
They have moved on.

Mercy.

Speak to her and tell her what you think. Who knows but she might hear you.

Then make any decision on what she would want.

Originally Posted by 32t

Speak to her and tell her what you think. Who knows but she might hear you.

Then make any decision on what she would want.

Im a weak man i dont think I can make it, shes not an animal to be put down, how can you say, ok kill her, shes the most import person in my life, and it would torture mr foever, i dserve to go to hell.

Originally Posted by STF

Im a weak man i dont think I can make it, shes not an animal to be put down, how can you say, ok kill her, shes the most import person in my life, and it would torture mr foever, i dserve to go to hell.

From what I see you are not saying "kill" her you are saying let her go.

What would she think?

To me that is the big thing. What would she want?

Steve, please seek help from someone like the Samaritans. You sound desperate, they can give you the help you need. God bless.

Do what is right for her. There should be people for you to talk to that can help you with your decisions you must make. Its hard but sometimes in life we dont have a choice. Be strong and do what you know is best

I feel ya buddy, hang in there.

Going thru a tussle myself right now. Just got word last nite, that my closest friends little brother (Donnie) has been diagnosed with stage 4 colon, lung, and brain cancer. He's now hospitalized, and not going to make it.

We all grew up together since third grade, like another family. I called his mother, mom , as I would my own. So yeah, I'm loosing my youngest brother very soon.

So I'm standing in the river of tears with ya buddy, your not along in this pain of loss.

Think of what christ endured for us , and know she's only going home. Your memories together will let her live on within you. Just remember the poem.... footprints in the sand

Steve, I hurt so much for you. No one knows what you are going through but we can still feel pain and empathy for you which is what I mean. I think you should forgive yourself for what you feel you have done. No one can cause a stroke. It's not fair to yourself to take this on yourself. Life is fleeting and the body is weak and impermanent. I feel sure that Joan would not blame you or want you to blame yourself. I agree with Tim. Tell her how you feel. No one knows what she is cognizant of. When my Dad was in his final days he just kept hanging on even though we could see that the end was eminent. It was torturous to watch. Then I remembered something I had heard from Hospice people when my mother in law was under their care. They said that sometimes people will hang on because they are worried about us and can't let go and that we should tell them it's okay and we'll be alright. Often then they feel release. I sat with him, held his hand and told him I loved him and that we would take care of Mom. A few minutes later he took a big breath and sighed and was gone. My point is not to say you should tell her to go but that she may hear more than you think. Talk to her. Ask for her forgiveness. I'm sure she has already given it.

Mark is right too. Talk to someone. A counselor, a priest, anyone. Personally I think you should have a priest pray with you. Tell God your worries. My faith is the raft I cling to while I'm adrift in a stormy sea. It's the only thing keeping me afloat at times including now. I wouldn't make it otherwise. I wish this for you and I continue to pray for you and for Joan.

FORGIVE YOURSELF. You have to find a way to.