Thread: The loss of common courtesy?

(rant mode on)

I had an interesting thing happen to me today. My post office branch is at the end of a small strip mall and there are perpendicular parking spots in front off of a two way driveway. I had finished my business and was in my car getting ready to leave. I had the car in reverse (back up lights on) and had started to back out of the space and some lady in an SUV zooms up on the street right behind me, blocking me in. She opens her door and, leaving the car door open, walks over to the mail box to put her mail in. There are now 5 or 6 cars backed up behind her now and I'm sitting there nearly half way out of the parking spot while she takes her sweet time walking back to her car. I'm giving her my best What the f*#@!!! look as she walks by my car, gets in her truck, taking her time to carefully put on her seat belt and then speeds off. Mind you, there's a couple of open parking spots right in front of the post office but I guess she was in too much of a hurry to bother with parking and I guess she felt she could just block me (and a couple of other cars) plus hold up several others while she does her business since it would only take a second. I thought about getting out of my car to ask her what the hurry was but thought otherwise because she's the sort of person that would probably call the cops and say I was menacing her or something. What the heck is it with people these days? In the 18 years I've lived here in LA, I've never had that happen.

It's just this society that we live in. It's focussed on individual rights to the point of obsession. Therefore we stop thinking about what are actions are doing to others and just focus on our own thing. For that reason you see people being rude to sales people/wait staff (I want it my way and I want it NOW), moving roadblocks in left lanes on the highways, a greater focus on sex than on romanticism in relationships and a whole bunch of other symptoms.
People basically say: I'm just doing my own thing, not doing anything illegal. Since I can get away with it from a legal standpoint, why would I bother with morality of my actions?
Another thing to blame is the way we've been using our legal system. We try to legislate our morality with our laws. Therefore you have people trying to pass laws regulating pornography, obscenities (*), abortion, prostitution, religious content in classrooms etc etc etc... Therefore, people are beginning to equate legality with morality, thus the attitude "If what I'm doing is not illegal, it's not immoral."
That is why closer-knit societies, whose laws are just meant to keep things running without people how to act if they're not hurting others get along better. You don't ask yourself if your actions are legal.. You ask yourself if your neighbors will think you're a jerk b/c of what you do.

(*) My special beef is with obscenity regultions on North American television. If you see a couple of people having sex on TV, it's like OH NO but if you see a person blowing another person's brain out, it's perfectly OK to be shown on cable TV. Therefore our society thinks that shooting people with guns is more permissable than something so sick, twisted and unnatural as two people making a baby. Give me a F****** break!

I could rant on about this for way too long. Simply put, I think the biggest problems are lack of discipline at home, school, and in today's "hurry up" world, too many people are wearing blinders and can't see anything around them.

RT

It's so true and it IS slowly getting worse from my perspective as well. The astonishing thing about the kind of 'rugged individualism' that Ilja is talking about is that it not only makes others miserable, it makes the individual responsible more miserable too. Too many people have lost sight of what is truly valuable and what prosperity should mean.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few ... or the one."
Mr. Spock

X

Ed...

In my declining years I've grown to be less tolerant than you. I would have continued to back up and innocently knocked her headlight out with my bumper. When the cops show up, maybe she could explain why she left her car unattended in a traffic lane.

I do not allow rude people to go unchallenged. One of my pet peeves is holding a door open for someone and they walk past like you aren't even there. Loudly, I always say to the back of their head, "HEY, NO PROBLEM... YOU'RE WELCOME".

But for the most part... I think it's a California thing. Moreso than it would be in other states. I seem to always be pleased with the manners of people of any of the states below New York. No offense, Rich, but you guys are as bad as Californians. I take that back. NY residents aren't rude... they just don't care.

It's a good thing I don't go out much...

Bill, I get the same urges but I'm either too young or my cars are too small for doing something like that lol. As for the "you're welcome" bit, I also do it, but in a normal tone of voice and with a polite smile on my face. That makes'em feel absolutely the worst
Ironically, here in Canada, we have the reputation of being extremely polite. However, we're being constantly polluted by the individualistic culture. If it can happen to us, it can happen to anyone. Hopefully this world won't become a world of stereotypical (<-- note the qualification) New Yorkers.

Originally Posted by EdinLA44

What the heck is it with people these days? In the 18 years I've lived here in LA, I've never had that happen.

A distorted sense of entitlement.

Sounds like a "I'm better than you" complex. You probably screwed up in her eyes; don't you know you are to bow before royalty? Oh, and never look directly upon them... :P

I wonder what ever happened to "Love your neighbor as yourself"... It seems like the new model for the masses moral compass is "Love theyself better than thy neighbor loves himself," and "Do unto others before they do unto you"...

I worked at a McDonalds for 11 years. And the one
observation I made was this.

The store was located in Madison, the county seat
of Boone County. A lot of coal miners live here.

Well every so often, Scott High School would have a
home game on Friday night. It wasn't uncommon for
the visiting team to stop by MaDonals after the game.

If the team was from another rural type school the
kids were generally well behaved. For the most part
they emptied their trash into the trash cans. Yeah,
they would get a little loud, but that is no big deal.
When they left, all I usually had to do was take out
several trash bags and sweep the floor, I didn't mind
if they tracked in dirt from the ball field.

BUT, if the visiting team was from an affluent High School
from Charleston, the state capitol, things were quite
different. In addition to being rude, they were slobs.
They simply left their trash on the table or in a lot
of cases threw in on the floor. They left one helluva
mess when they departed.

I guess these kids viewed us Boone County people as
trash beneath their feet.

Now this is not to say that ALL kids from affluent areas
are jerks and ALL kids from rural/working class homes are
good. That would be nieve for me to say this.

Enough of my babbling.


Terry

Originally Posted by urleebird

But for the most part... I think it's a California thing. Moreso than it would be in other states. I seem to always be pleased with the manners of people of any of the states below New York. No offense, Rich, but you guys are as bad as Californians. I take that back. NY residents aren't rude... they just don't care.

It's a good thing I don't go out much...

Bill,

I am sorry to say I can't disagree with you. I find this very difficult for me because I was raised by people who showed respect to others. I remember before I went to Paris 12 years ago people telling me the French were rude. I came back and told them they were just New Yorkers who spoke French. I also traveled for business in the US a while back and found in most big cities people where much nicer than in NY. They would say excuse me and good morning; for a while it blew my mind. I would find that after afew weeks away I would end up saying excuse me and good morning when I returned. Good manners and concern for others are taught by parents and society so keep on yelling at those inconsiderate people who walk through the doors without a thank you, I do...