Uncle Zeke complains about this pesky Timber Wolf who keeps raiding his illegal traps in the National Forest. Last week he got into a tug of war with the beast over some coyote caught in the trap. Uncle Zeke didn't win. Afterwards they became friends and the wolf complained that during a full moon he has these frightening dreams he turns into a human who can' stop eating and can't stop shaving cause his beard grows as fast as he can shave it.

Yes a true story. Too bad I'm ineligible to win.