Thread: Has Your Wife or Significant Other Done This Yet?

JL,

On a serious note...you two need to sit down and have a discussion. Money is a leading cause of marital issues, and you two are newlyweds. First and foremost, honesty is what is needed here. The two of you are looking to buy your first home. I'm betting that she looks at the razors as a threat. So, pull in the reins and have a heart to heart. Pissing off the missus over a razor is not worth it. The two of you need to work out a budget, and then live with it.

RT

it definitely answers my question, jl. despite what bill says, i have a serious girlfriend, but we don't share finances or anything like that, so, to me it seems strange to place yourself in a situation such as yours. and i don't mean that my choices are better--i just want to understand the other guys choices. as far as my situation goes, i feel like i have a great relationship with her and we're both happy together, but things like this never become an issue because we keep seperate apartments and don't split our money.

i guess i should have worded my question to you with more care because, as i go back and read it, it sounds pretty antagonistic. in my defense, i've just never had to deal with anything like it. even so, i chose a shitty way to word it, especially when you're in the middle of the situation trying to adjust.

JL; You've found a woman who hardly ever spends anything on herself? KEEP HER!! You've found a gem! My wife of 23 yrs is much the same way. I am still amazed to have found a woman even cheaper than myself! Her major shopping is done at the Savation Army or Goodwill stores, or a super discounted sale. Bank accounts here are joint and she handles the bill paying, shopping & etc. I guess my major advice to you is to settle on a fixed allowance for personal spending. I have $10 per week to cover personal stuff (not clothing or essentials); so if I want a new razor or knife or smoking pipe, hat, etc. I have to save up the $10 a week till I can pay for it. This has made me very disciplined and careful about my purchases, and I find I really appreciate what I do get.

"I wear the pants in my family; but my wife beats me with the belt."

- Edward G. Robinson in film ALL MY SONS

Originally Posted by rtaylor61

JL,

On a serious note...you two need to sit down and have a discussion. Money is a leading cause of marital issues, ...The two of you need to work out a budget, and then live with it.

RT

Amen to that!

JL take the mans advice...if you are spending money pre-agreed upon to be yours to spend on toys, there will be no strife...and that is priceless!

Dave

0) It ain't about you (singular) anymore, it's about you (plural).
1) Let the woman win the shoebox argument. Female nesting instincts are pretty strong, and you do your marriage no favors by getting in her way on the shoebox thing. Make a nice wooden box if that helps it go down easier. You've got to pick your fights, and this isn't a good one.
2) You two need to sit down and do some budgeting. Money disagreements can make a marriage go pear-shaped very quickly.
3) For all you know, her sudden nesting and money concerns (which could be another manifestation of nesting) could be because she's pregnant or something.

Putting your foot down and wearing the pants means that your pants are the only ones you'll be getting in to. Then you can lift your foot up and pull off your sock as Bill referred to earlier!
It's good to have a cheap wife, I have one myself and they are hard to find. I always thought I'd be the fiscally disciplined one in my marriage, but I'm really not. Let it go, it will pass and eventually you'll be able to start stocking up on razors again.
-Fred

Let me preface this by saying I too would be pretty ticked off to find all of my shaving supplies in a shoe box after a long day at the salt mines. But, I kind of have to side with your wife on this one.

If you have bills and outstanding debts to pay, maybe you shouldn't be buying 150 - 200 dollar razors? You say you have five of them? Well, add up how much your other shaving supplies were and you're probably well over a thousand dollars. You've got to admit, that's a bit excessive.

I've been shaving with straights for just over a year now, and I've probably amassed around fifteen razors -- most of them collectable ones of good quality. All except one (a 139.00 Thiers-Issard 7/8 from Classic Shaving) were purchased on eBay or in antique stores for next to nothing. And I actually kind of regret buying the TI, since most mornings I reach for the Dubl Duck Goldedge I got on eBay for 17 bucks and restored quite nicely, or one of my Wade and Butchers.

Here's what I would suggest you do: sell one or two of your razors and free up a few hundred dollars. This sacrifice will likely play well with the wife and let her know that you care about your financial situation. With the money you get for the razor(s), I'd invest in a little antique cabinet where you can store the rest of them. What I've got in my bathroom is pictured below. If you've got any money left over, start buying antique razors every so often instead of the really expensive ones.

JL,

You have some really pretty razors. But are any as
pretty as your wife?

While you may love your razors - do they love you in
return?

More and more razors won't make you any happier in
the long run. Enjoy the razors that you already have
and start saving for that house.

Feel free to tell me too mind my own damn business. I
won't be offended......


Terry

Here's the deal. Razors are an investement. They're not perfume, which is money that evaporates into thin air. They're not shoes that wear out in a year or two. They're not clothes that are too tight to wear after a few more years of marriage. They're an investment that can be cashed in, if necessary, and better than money in the bank because they earn a better rate of return AND they give you pleasure to own all the while. They add character and an artistic flair to your home and castle.

Use a few well-selected "completed items" listings on Ebay to help drive home your point. Ask her if she appreciates the extra attention you've paid to personal hygiene and grooming since you've become a straight razor afficionado.

Probably none of that will be 100% effective because she's still a woman, but eventually it sinks in. Eventually, they come to realize it's your home, too. It's a gruding realization, but deep inside they do have to admit you're right even if they can't tell you.

As much as women love getting their way on everything, they also lose respect for you if you cave in on everything. Choose your battles wisely. Let them win those that you can live with and stand your ground on those you can't. In the end, neither of you will be very happy if you can't figure out where that fine line is drawn.

look, people can euphemize it however they want. call it being the better man, picking your battles, letting them think they told you what pants to wear, whatever. caving in is still caving in. and if the best reasons people can come up with for doing so are a lot of cryptic analogies about masturbation, then all i can say is there are plenty of ways to get laid without opening a joint checking account.

also, if it's really not worth arguing about, doesn't the same logic apply to her? if you consistently fail to expect rational behavior from people, that exactly what you'll never get.