Thread: Has Your Wife or Significant Other Done This Yet?

The point is that caving in on SOME things isn't bad. You just have to pick which ones you'll cave in on. Everyone has wants and desires. Let the women have those that are most important to her and you insist on those most important to you and the rest....... well, you'll figure it out.

We have sat down and talked...she says we can both spend on anything $100.00 or less without talking to the other about it...but I have found its better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I have at times asked her "honey...I would like to buy <insert item here> "and her answer is..."its your money too, I dont want you to feel like you have to ask me when you want to use it"....I think its all based on timing...I have yet to figure this one out.

At any rate, part of her problem isnt the money, its that I get packages from UPS ALL THE TIME but most of them are work related things that are either fully paid for by my company or a tax deduction, but again she has a really hard time understand and differentiating them, to her everything is just a toy I bought and by the end of the week when I get home she has already been steaming over the 5 UPS packages in the hall way...

On the other hand, I spend more than what I have spent on razors taking her out to dinner at times and she gets pissed off that I am spending that kind of money on her...so she is a tough cookie...

Soooo....Im letting the shoe box battle go....for now....maybe in a month when I have not purchased any razors I will bring it back up lol

Anyway as far as I can tell all is forgiven this morning....she is quick to get mad and quick to forgive.

and like Robert mentioned....I have never had trouble selling a razor, especially a good one when I needed some extra cash...but again...this is beyond a womans comprehension as far as I can tell......


P.S. she didnt bitch about the almost 3 karats of diamons on her ring finger....lol

Originally Posted by JLStorm

... I think its all based on timing...I have yet to figure this one out. ...

Well you're learning. I've been married for 10 years, but I still can't figure that right. Good luck to you.

Originally Posted by JLStorm

...this is beyond a womans comprehension as far as I can tell......

Careful now ... all women are not created equal.

I sometimes wonder if I might try introducing something to my wife that I know she will disagree with to distract her from the smaller things which she might irrationally focus on. So far I have either not been sinister enought to try it, or my wife isn't all that irrational after all. To give her credit, she will usually listen and engage in a debate well, but I find her more attached to her emotional response and less to reason than I am. Knowing this helps me prepare my arguments a little better. Simple phrases like, "I understand" go a looooooooong way! Try it (and NOT "I understand, but ...") It is a clear signal to someone that their feelings are not at fault or invalid. Constructing arguments backward is easier for someone having trouble with reason over passion. Instead of a) I want to display my razors b) because I'm proud of them c) and it's convenient for me. which is a logical linear sequence, but prone to set them thinking on their own path, try a) it's inconvenient to have my razors in the shoe box b) and doesn't give them the respect they deserve c) so I want to change to another box. It may seem like a small change, but in my experience my arguments have been made more often than interrupted and are easier to accept. This technique and others usually require that I 'Shut My Stupid Mouth' which is the one that is ready to answer first in every instance, and wait a second or two as I 'Engage My Brain'.

Building on my example, I wonder if you might tell her in a month or so that you're ok with your own box, but that you want to change out of the shoebox and get a setup like Bladewielder's. I wouldn't surprise her by just putting it up and waiting for her reaction. Prepare her. Tell her you're want to change boxes and suggest wood (or whatever). Later, tell her you've found one you like. When you get it, show it to her before you integrate it into your lives. This should ease the shock of changing her nest.

Just some thoughts.

X

I dunno lol last night asked me if when I buy another razor in October could she buy something for herself for $200.00 and I said sure....then she got REALLY pissed off lol....I think I give up...I'll just get my razors and deal it. She asked me if we have to "budget in" my razor expenses got pissed off and walked away...this was much easier without the joint account lol....


X,

I think I'll just have to admit defeat and agree that I will never understand women.

Originally Posted by JLStorm

... I think I'll just have to admit defeat and agree that I will never understand women.

That might be part of hat keeps them interesting.

X

also, if it's really not worth arguing about, doesn't the same logic apply to her? if you consistently fail to expect rational behavior from people, that exactly what you'll never get.

Go get 'em, grasshopper...

Originally Posted by urleebird

Go get 'em, grasshopper...

oh yeah. sorry bill, i forgot for a second that i was too young to understand the way the world really works and how women are mysterious creatures and all that bull sh*t. they are just as capable of rational behavior as we are. if you keep excusing it, they'll keep doing it. it's really that simple. and if you find yourself saying things like this when you read my post, it's not because you have a deep world-wise understanding of their behavior, it's probably just because you're rationalizing your own behavior.

Originally Posted by cyrano138

oh yeah. sorry bill, i forgot for a second that i was too young to understand the way the world really works and how women are mysterious creatures and all that bull sh*t. they are just as capable of rational behavior as we are. if you keep excusing it, they'll keep doing it. it's really that simple. and if you find yourself saying things like this when you read my post, it's not because you have a deep world-wise understanding of their behavior, it's probably just because you're rationalizing your own behavior.

Actually the joing checking account was my idea....I regret it. However it was my idea because I put her in charge of paying all the bills since I am away most of the week working.

Anyway, yes women are capable of rational thoughts...but often what I consider rational and what she or any other woman would consider rational is completely different...so does that mean that we are both being irrational or both being rational yet completely disagreeing...I dunno.

The bottom line is this: I need to watch bills CD and start restoring my own razors lol...


And I guess the bottom bottom line is...when I shave with an old restored beauty even if it cost me $200.00, it makes me feel like a new man...and I am ready to face the world...no it cant love me like a wife....but my wife also cant make me feel like I can conquer the world like a good shave can....I have a stressful job with a lot of responsibilities and Im telling you...a good shave can make the difference between me walking into a room and holding my head high or thinking to myself..."oh man this day is going to suck"

go figure....

Originally Posted by cyrano138

oh yeah. sorry bill, i forgot for a second that i was too young to understand the way the world really works and how women are mysterious creatures and all that bull sh*t. they are just as capable of rational behavior as we are. if you keep excusing it, they'll keep doing it. it's really that simple. and if you find yourself saying things like this when you read my post, it's not because you have a deep world-wise understanding of their behavior, it's probably just because you're rationalizing your own behavior.

Actually the joing checking account was my idea....I regret it. However it was my idea because I put her in charge of paying all the bills since I am away most of the week working.

Anyway, yes women are capable of rational thoughts...but often what I consider rational and what she or any other woman would consider rational is completely different...so does that mean that we are both being irrational or both being rational yet completely disagreeing...I dunno.

The bottom line is this: I need to watch bills CD and start restoring my own razors lol...


And I guess the bottom bottom line is...when I shave with an old restored beauty even if it cost me $200.00, it makes me feel like a new man...and I am ready to face the world...no it cant love me like a wife....but my wife also cant make me feel like I can conquer the world like a good shave can....I have a stressful job with a lot of responsibilities and Im telling you...a good shave can make the difference between me walking into a room and holding my head high or thinking to myself..."oh man this day is going to suck"

go figure....

Originally Posted by cyrano138

oh yeah. sorry bill, i forgot for a second that i was too young to understand the way the world really works and ...

Bill's just havin' a bit of fun with ya. He doesn't mean anything by it and you shouldn't take offense. Trust me, if Bill wanted to offend you, you'd know about it!

It's all good. We're all friends here. Take a breath and everything will be ok.

X