Reminds me of scene in Meet the Robinsons where the T-Rex can't reach the boy.
Villain : What's wrong? Why aren't you seizing the boy?!
T-Rex : I've got a big head and little arms. I'm not sure how well this plan was thought out....
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Boy at zoo:
Mommy, mommy, that big animal is picking cabbages with its tail. .. . And you won't believe where it's putting them!
"I grew up all my life believing I was Irish, but thanks to Ancestry.com, I now know I’m just a drunk."
What type of socks do pirates wear? Arrrgyle socks
Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling well.
Two mushrooms walk into a bar. One says to the bartender give me a double shot of your best vodka. The bartender looks down his nose at then and says in a condescending manner. We don't serve your kind here. The second mushroom pipes up and says why not we're fun guys!
"Rice is good when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something" Mitch Hedberg
Why did the sesame seed refuse to leave the casino?
He was on a roll.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, that means that my illegal logging business is a success!