Thread: Clean jokes

I've been reading this book about glue.

I just can't put it down.

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere.

A certain man has a cat that he loved. The man went on a trip and left the cat with his brother calling every day to check on it. One day he called and asked his brother, "How is my cat?" His brother replied, "Your cat died." The man was furious with his brother. He said, "What are you thinking? That is no way to give news like that!" His brother replied, "Well, how should I have told you?" The man replied, "Well you could have said, 'The cat's on the roof and we can't get her down.' The next day when I called you could have said, 'The cat fell off the roof and the vet is trying to patch her up.' The next day you could have said, 'The cat passed away.' that way I would have had a chance to get prepared for the news." His brother apologized and the man relented and said, "Okay, I'm sorry too. Maybe I overreacted. By the way, how's Mother?" His brother replied, "Mother's on the roof and we can't get her down."

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pocky but I was able to turn myself around!

If anyone gets an email from me about canned meat, don’t open it…it’s SPAM.

I think that the guy who invented the knock-knock joke should get the nobel prize!

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!

Did you hear that the guy who invented Velcro died? RIP

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees???




Because they're really good at it.