Thread: Clean jokes

I hate to brag about my good looks, but everytime I go into the bathroom and get undressed, I turn on the shower.

Hitchhiker: Hey, thanks for stopping but I have to say you must be crazy.

Driver: Why do you say that?

Hitchhiker: Well, picking up hitchhiker…

Driver: And???

Hitchhiker: Well, I mean, I could be a serial killer.

Driver: Ha Ha Ha! What are the odds of two serial killers being in one car?

A man was questioned on a plane for doing math during the flight. They say he has suspected ties to Al-Gebra

Here in New Orleans, the Lucky Dog vendors with their hotdog shaped pushcarts are legendary for their fiscal creativity. Once, the Dalai Lama was in town, and walked up to a Lucky Dog cart in the quarter and, thinking himself clever and street savvy, gives the man a little bow and presses his palms together, and says, "Make me ONE, WITH EVERYTHING."

Lucky Dog man has seen it all, He makes the Dalai Lama a Lucky Dog, accepts a $20 bill in payment, and sticks it in his pocket.

The Dalai Lama bows again and presses his palms together once more, and says, Excuse, please, Mr Lucky Dog man, but what about my change?"

The vendor returns Dalai Lama's bow and wai, and replies, "Change can only come from within".

If you don't know the difference between a Burro and a burrow, then you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground!

Man: Waiter! My onion rings???

Waiter: So?...Answer it!

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Eggs and bacon walk into a restaurant.

Hostess says, "We don't serve breakfast here."

Originally Posted by PaulFLUS

Eggs and bacon walk into a restaurant.

Hostess says, "We don't serve breakfast here."

OMG, dad jokes

A tramp was walking in the woods and came upon a Baptism in the river
he waded in to see what was happening
the baptist minister gabbed him and pushed him under the water

Have you found jesus he asked when the tramp surfaced

No replied the tramp

so the minister pushed him down again

Have you found jesus now he asked

No said the tramp

The minister pushed him down until the tramp was almost drowned
Now have you found jesus

No said the tramp, are you sure he went in here