Thread: Clean jokes

There are two types of people in this world. Those who can cope with incomplete information.

Jeb and Dolly are senior citizens and Jeb has always wanted an really expensive pair of alligator cowboy boots. One day he sees them on sale, impulsively buys them and wears them home, asking Dolly, "So, do you notice anything different about me?"

"Nothin's different. Looks like the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants."

"What's different?" Frustrated, Jeb goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only the new boots. Again he asks, "OK Dolly, NOW do you see anything different?"

"What's different, Jeb? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Angrily, Jeb yells, "Do you know why it's hanging down? 'CAUSE IT'S LOOKIN' AT MY NEW BOOTS!!"

She says, "You shoulda bought a hat."


rs,
Tack

What do you call a sleep walking nun.

A Roamin' Catholic

Hellen Keller walks into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.

While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying. Along with him was a drug runner who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help soon, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office as well as Homeland Security. It is now 4pm, neither authority has responded and both have drowned. I'm starting to think that I wasted two stamps.


rs,
Tack

Originally Posted by Tack

Jeb and Dolly are senior citizens and Jeb has always wanted an really expensive pair of alligator cowboy boots. One day he sees them on sale, impulsively buys them and wears them home, asking Dolly, "So, do you notice anything different about me?"
"Nothin's different. Looks like the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants."
"What's different?" Frustrated, Jeb goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only the new boots. Again he asks, "OK Dolly, NOW do you see anything different?"
"What's different, Jeb? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Angrily, Jeb yells, "Do you know why it's hanging down? 'CAUSE IT'S LOOKIN' AT MY NEW BOOTS!!"
She says, "You shoulda bought a hat."rs,Tack

I heard that she told him to start a shave forum. . . he needed a new member

Originally Posted by Geezer

I heard that she told him to start a shave forum. . . he needed a new member

gaaa!  


rs,
Tack

Originally Posted by cosperryan

What do you call a sleep walking nun.

A Roamin' Catholic

Hellen Keller walks into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.

It's not cool to make fun of the blind, but it's kind of fun to rearrange the furniture from time to time.

I just finished a great book about Helen Keller. she was a brilliant woman

Originally Posted by pixelfixed

I just finished a great book about Helen Keller. she was a brilliant woman

I don't get it.
Did you forget the punchline?

..........Sorry for any offence! ...............