Thread: General Annoyance with people

Originally Posted by FiReSTaRT

I'm not into hard-ass parenting. My dad was one of those, sending me into the yard to bring him a stick. I've always resented him for it, was glad when my parents got divorced (when I was 8) and vowed never to raise my kids like that. All the right decisions that I've made came from my mom's and grandparents' upbringing. They trusted me to make the right decisions and I would have REALLY hated to have lost their trust.
Proper upbringing comes from mutual trust and shared moral values. These days parents have to work more and more just to survive. When they get home they're just dead tired and have no energy for anything. The days when families could afford one stay-at-home parent are long-gone. More and more people are unable to establish relationships of trust with their children and instill proper moral values in them.
The kids are left to fend for themselves and the world revolves around "ME." That's how they lose their sense of altruism and civility.
If I ever have kids, I'm moving the family to a small remote community where it's still affordable to have a stay at home parent.

We had my wife stay home with the kids until my youngest went to school full time. I am still swamped in debt because of it however I felt this was the choice we had to make. I am really firm with my kids but they also know they are a valued member of the family and we always make time for them (Baseball, scouting, swimming, acrobatics, acting group, etc etc etc.) The sun rises and sets over my kids but I am also not fooled into thinking they are perfect little angels. I demand that they show respect to elders and I have never sent my kids out for a stick, a threatened swat on the butt with my hand is all I have ever needed to get their attention. You are right, coming home from work both my wife and I are dog tired but we make the time for them because they are our most valued gifts.

Rich, that's the ideal way to raise kids at any stage in history. My former next door neighbors were like that and then some. Mom worked part-time so she could still spend time with the kids. However the dad is the one who REALLY earned my respect. He worked overtime to support the family but still found time to coach the kids in baseball/basketball/football(fifa) in the summer and build them a hockey rink every winter (by pushing snow to the sides of the back yard and pouring water over the cleared part). The kids were involved in the household tasks and always got plenty of parental attention. As a result, their children turned out great -- a cut above the rest of the neighborhood kids.

Originally Posted by FiReSTaRT

Rich, that's the ideal way to raise kids at any stage in history. My former next door neighbors were like that and then some. Mom worked part-time so she could still spend time with the kids. However the dad is the one who REALLY earned my respect. He worked overtime to support the family but still found time to coach the kids in baseball/basketball/football(fifa) in the summer and build them a hockey rink every winter (by pushing snow to the sides of the back yard and pouring water over the cleared part). The kids were involved in the household tasks and always got plenty of parental attention. As a result, their children turned out great -- a cut above the rest of the neighborhood kids.

I hope one day someone will think as kindly of me. They sounded like a great family..

Originally Posted by RichZ

... the alpha male status is essential...

But it needs to go farther than that. It's a society thing, or lack thereof. When I was growing up, kids were expected to take direction from all adults... that meant neighbors, relatives, teachers, bus drivers, storekeepers... everyone.... even the woman you didn't know who watched you throw a candy wrapper on the ground and told you to "get back there and pick that up". We were expected to have manners and show respect for others. Today, society expects us to mind our own business. Most parents will tell off any adult who tries to even talk to, let alone discipline their kid!

This summer my wife and I were standing in line in a casino in Vegas. A woman with 3 kids under the age of about 7 was behind us. The kids were pretty unruly. When they started to sing at the top of their lungs, each trying to outdo the other, my wife couldn't take it and finally said something to the kids in a nice way. The mother came unglued and started screaming for security! How dare we say anything to her kids! My wife's a teacher and didn't back down... she calmly and quietly asked the woman to stop screaming at her, reinterated that she had politely asked her kids to cooperate, and that if she wanted to get security involved, that was fine... we'd be happy to discuss her kids conduct with the authorities at length.

How dare, indeed! When I was a kid my parents would never have allowed me to act like that in the first place... and if I did and it offended anyone, not only would I have had to apologize, but they would have apologized profusely, too... for their lack of control of their kid. Fact is, when I was a kid adults didn't take kids to adult places and functions... and if they did, the kids were made to behave or the parents took them away. Today, parents think nothing of taking small children anyywhere at all hours and let them run free. Think about the last nice dining experinece you had ruined by a screaming kid running around the restaurant.

Somehow we've become a society of people "minding our own business"... and expecting others to do the same. Maybe it started with the "love generation"... do whatever feels good to you and if someone doesn't like it that's their problem to deal with. Maybe it's a result of the general threat we all feel of being sued for the most frivolous of things. Maybe we've just become too busy (read that lazy) to take the time to do what our parents used to do. Whatever the reason(s), the fabric of our society has a huge tear in it, IMHO.

Joe,

That is true. My parents would have died a thousand deaths if my sister and I behaved like that. I can tell you it would not have been your wife my mother was yelling at. In addition you are right, why do parents bring children to adult things. I remember I think I was 12 when my parents took me to a restaurant (not a McDonald's where playing is encouraged) and they told me before we went what was expected of me and how to act. You can assured that had I not behaved I would have been taken out of the restaurant and not taken again until I had learned to behave.

PS Joe what were kids doing in a casino? That is truely beyond me.

I am removing all material that Lerch may find offensive or construe as a personal attack... bye bye, now...

Originally Posted by urleebird

As I walked back past the snot-nose teenagers, I stopped and leaned slowly toward the window of the passenger and said with defiance and contempt in my eyes, "You been a f***in' assho** all your life, or did you just start today?"

I know it won't change their rebellious behavior, but I bet they will at least look around the next time to see if any crazy looking old men are around to challenge them. I know they will, at least, be on the look out for blue Ford trucks.

I dunno Bill, you may be surprised. From some things I have seen some of the punks that run around take something like that to heart because no one has ever said anything like that before to them. You know everyone (or at least most people) thinks they are a tough guy until they are proven wrong.

At any rate, a few years ago I decided not to have children in large part due to the society they would come into. I find myself just praying that things dont get that much worse until after Im gone, which is a pretty sad outlook, but its the truth.

You go Bill!!!! Did you have Josh's razor in your hand at the time?

Quite honestly I believe that this country will
collapse within the next 20 or so years. Or
turn into a Soviet style dictatorship.

Thoughts Comrads?


Terry

All the past civilisations have imploaded through their own Moral decay. Nothing will be different for ours!

The back-lash will be the rise of some Fundamentalist Religion