Thread: You Might Be a Redneck, If........................

WD-40 is your preferred pre-shave oil.

...you keep a roll of toilet paper by the sink to use as styptic pencil.

...your last set of scales, are from bones found by your grandpas grave site, in the back of the house.

...your scales bear a striking resemblance to your snakeskin boots.

Now I must say I rightly don't have the ability to contemplate why you fellas want to make a list of things folks in these parts have been a doin for generations now. We don't take kindly to you city slickers makin fun of us like that. Just because cousin Festus shaves his pet goat baaabeee with his straight don't mean nothing. And she be real particular about the razor and soap and be able to eyeball that bevel rite quick.

There be nothing like good old fashioned horse sense to guide you in your life. You folks just don't know the pleasure of gettin an expert shave from Miss Hogslapper at our town tonsorial parlor. Why we use the same brush and soap and razor on every customer. Yea those Govt men come snooping around but we know how to take care of them. They never come back.

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

You folks just don't know the pleasure of gettin an expert shave from Miss Hogslapper at our town tonsorial parlor. Why we use the same brush and soap and razor on every customer. Yea those Govt men come snooping around but we know how to take care of them. They never come back.

Those goldarn Revenuers at it agin...

Originally Posted by thebigspendur

Now I must say I rightly don't have the ability to contemplate why you fellas want to make a list of things folks in these parts have been a doin for generations now. We don't take kindly to you city slickers makin fun of us like that. Just because cousin Festus shaves his pet goat baaabeee with his straight don't mean nothing. And she be real particular about the razor and soap and be able to eyeball that bevel rite quick.

There be nothing like good old fashioned horse sense to guide you in your life. You folks just don't know the pleasure of gettin an expert shave from Miss Hogslapper at our town tonsorial parlor. Why we use the same brush and soap and razor on every customer. Yea those Govt men come snooping around but we know how to take care of them. They never come back.

Sorry Cletus, won't happen again.

When eye ball drinking is your favourite way to get drunk: Young people 'drinking' neat vodka through their EYE for a quick buzz | Mail Online

Totally 'gree. We gon' fix that fellas, fix 'em good.

The only time you would shave is if you had to go to court.