Page 5 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 72
Like Tree55Likes

Thread: You Might Be a Redneck, If........................

  1. #41
    < Banned User >
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Frozen Wasteland, eh
    Posts
    2,806
    Thanked: 334

    Default

    WD-40 is your preferred pre-shave oil.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Double0757's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    West Palm Beach, Florida
    Posts
    790
    Thanked: 179

    Default

    ...you keep a roll of toilet paper by the sink to use as styptic pencil.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Double0757's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    West Palm Beach, Florida
    Posts
    790
    Thanked: 179

    Default

    ...your last set of scales, are from bones found by your grandpas grave site, in the back of the house.

  4. #44
    < Banned User >
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Frozen Wasteland, eh
    Posts
    2,806
    Thanked: 334

    Default

    ...your scales bear a striking resemblance to your snakeskin boots.

  5. #45
    The Hurdy Gurdy Man thebigspendur's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    30,387
    Thanked: 4883
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default

    Now I must say I rightly don't have the ability to contemplate why you fellas want to make a list of things folks in these parts have been a doin for generations now. We don't take kindly to you city slickers makin fun of us like that. Just because cousin Festus shaves his pet goat baaabeee with his straight don't mean nothing. And she be real particular about the razor and soap and be able to eyeball that bevel rite quick.

    There be nothing like good old fashioned horse sense to guide you in your life. You folks just don't know the pleasure of gettin an expert shave from Miss Hogslapper at our town tonsorial parlor. Why we use the same brush and soap and razor on every customer. Yea those Govt men come snooping around but we know how to take care of them. They never come back.

  6. #46
    < Banned User >
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Frozen Wasteland, eh
    Posts
    2,806
    Thanked: 334

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thebigspendur View Post
    You folks just don't know the pleasure of gettin an expert shave from Miss Hogslapper at our town tonsorial parlor. Why we use the same brush and soap and razor on every customer. Yea those Govt men come snooping around but we know how to take care of them. They never come back.
    Those goldarn Revenuers at it agin...

  7. #47
    RJD
    RJD is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    531
    Thanked: 45

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thebigspendur View Post
    Now I must say I rightly don't have the ability to contemplate why you fellas want to make a list of things folks in these parts have been a doin for generations now. We don't take kindly to you city slickers makin fun of us like that. Just because cousin Festus shaves his pet goat baaabeee with his straight don't mean nothing. And she be real particular about the razor and soap and be able to eyeball that bevel rite quick.

    There be nothing like good old fashioned horse sense to guide you in your life. You folks just don't know the pleasure of gettin an expert shave from Miss Hogslapper at our town tonsorial parlor. Why we use the same brush and soap and razor on every customer. Yea those Govt men come snooping around but we know how to take care of them. They never come back.
    Sorry Cletus, won't happen again.

  8. #48
    Senior Member blabbermouth Kees's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    5,300
    Thanked: 627

    Default

    When eye ball drinking is your favourite way to get drunk: Young people 'drinking' neat vodka through their EYE for a quick buzz | Mail Online

  9. #49
    Member Rori's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Bamberg - Germany
    Posts
    92
    Thanked: 17

    Default

    Totally 'gree. We gon' fix that fellas, fix 'em good.

  10. #50
    32t
    32t is offline
    Senior Member blabbermouth 32t's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    3 miles west of randydance062449
    Posts
    8,236
    Thanked: 1267

    Default

    The only time you would shave is if you had to go to court.

Page 5 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •