She won't see it. :)
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She won't see it. :)
It's easy for me to remember my I.Q. ,,, its the same as my belt size,, fourty-two,,,,:beer2:
1/5 2/5 1/5 1/5
rs,
Tack
A physicist gets pulled over by a cop. The cop asks "Do you know how fast you were going?" The physicist replies "No idea, but I know exactly where I was."
Did he have a cat in the trunk?
But you'll have to open the trunk to find out.
Sometimes I watch football holding an Xbox controller just to screw with my mum's head.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.....
Ba da boom tish!
I've just started a new business making exploding prayer mats: business is booming as prophets go through the roof.
A minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the take off, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
rs,
Tack
Bumper sticker:
If you observe this vehicle being operated in an unsafe manner, please try to think of it as one more anomoly in the cosmic order.
A man walks into a pet shop "Hello I'd like to buy a wasp please."
Owner " We don't sell wasps sir. There's no demand"
Man "But you've got one in the window?"
Seen on a shop wall:
Do as I tell you for I am a sign.
There was a great song long ago: Signs, signs everywhere signs... or something like that.
A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "You know, I've never felt better and I have an 18-year old wife who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?"
The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of his gun by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang", and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."
The doctor said, "My point exactly".
rs,
Tack
I'm getting to the age to resemble that.
Born free -- taxed to death.
There are 10 kind of guys around: The ones who understand binary, and the ones who don't.
Bedgasm (n)
A feeling of euphoria experienced when climbing into bed at the end of a very long day.