What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little whine
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What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little whine
How do you make a hankie "handkerchief" dance ?
put a little boogie in it !
Two peanuts where walking down the road and one was a salted!
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I needed that today Richard,,, Thank You !!
I do understand, I am a life long Lunatic. Full moon will get me every time!Quote:
Originally Posted by Hirlau
Haven't done a "moon" in a long time!
When "mooning" was the craze,,, we used to drive around Boone ,, mooning all the tourists as that checked into the hotels,,,we did it in my yellow Volkswagen Beetle,,, some nights I was a driving,,,, some nights I was a mooning,,,,:shrug:
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
,,,,,,,,,,,that's true :(
Well said! And some people never get there...Quote:
Originally Posted by Geezer
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,who you referring to ? :shrug:
No one here:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hirlau
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint
A mushroom goes to a dance and asks a girl to dance.
She says "I can't dance with you cause your a mushroom";
The mushroom replies; "That's true but I am a fungi".
From some children's show when my kids were very young.
Okay, this is probably the cleanest joke I can remember: What kind of bees give milk?
Answer: Boobees (or boobies?).
:D,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernie1980
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
An elderly Irish gentleman was stopped by the police as he was walking down the street at 2am and they asked him what he was doing.
"I'm going to a lecture about the perils of alcohol, smoking and late nights."
And who would be giving such a lecture at this time in the morning?
"Oh that'll be the Wife"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,:gaah:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernie1980
“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?”
My oldest daughter is a natural blonde and when she was a kid I used to delight in telling her 'Blonde Jokes' and she took them well and laughed and on occasion would tell me one. When she was about 12 she asked me this;
"Dad, do you know why most blonde jokes are one liners"?
I said "no".
She replied;
"So guys can get them".
Took all the fun out of telling her blonde jokes! :banghead:
:w :w :w :shrug:
Attachment 217509
what did the ear of corn say when someone undressed him? Ahh shucks
Why did BO-Peep put chocolate on her sheep......she wanted a candy BAAA.
Ranger rick magazine.
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I had no idea Little Bo Peep was from Bahhhston.
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I like the way the commas are the most common way to meet the 10 character limit.
What's wrong with
-/:;()$&@:gaah:?
I'm going to start a new trend!
That'll work,,,,,:beer2:
Hirlau is a bad influence,,,,:thinking:Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopian
$%%#*(*&%$$^^& :(
A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?"
I've heard that many times before & it still gets a laugh outta me ,,,:rofl2:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopian
See?Quote:
Originally Posted by Hirlau
I knew it would catch on.
While talking about meditation techniques, a Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So I didn't.
A Buddhist walked into a burger shop and said make me one with everything.
Just heard the news that the guy that wrote the song "do the hokey pokey" died. It all went fine at the funeral home until they went to put him in the coffin. First they put his left foot in.......
Why should you never buy a vacuum cleaner from a Buddhist ?
Because they have no attachments.
#$%$@*&%$((&% :gaah:
