School's on fireAttachment 319100
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School's on fireAttachment 319100
Here’s a couple.
Attachment 319102
Attachment 319103
One more..
Attachment 319104
It's probably altered but still funny--
Attachment 319105
What do you do with a person who's had a peek-a-boo accident?
Take them to ICU
Another oneAttachment 319224
Attachment 319234
Truer words not spoken
Due to circumstances beyond my control I have been wiping my arse with newspaper, the times are rough...
Attachment 319424
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Hmmmm
ABCDB S ICDBNU2
I see the bee and you too.
the first part looses me.
Wait a minute is it a Bee see the bee is?
A bee sees the bee as I see the bee in you too. ?
Good reviews . . .
Abey is a man's nickname in some metropolitan areas.
Onward to the next sanitary mirth maker!
-Richard
So a piece of pie costs $2.00 in that Bahamas. That SAME piece of pie in Jamaica costs $3.50.
Just goes to show there are still various pie-rates of the Caribbean.
Early in the first day of first grade a boy raises his hand and asks if he can go to the bathroom to which his teacher said of course. She took him to the classroom door and pointed down the hall and told him to take a right at the end of the lockers and the boys room was on his right.
The boy took off and the teacher returned to the class. Very shortly later the boy appeared and said he couldn't find it. So she once again took him to the hall told him the directions and then watched as he made the right at the end of the lockers and went back to the class.
Very shortly later the boy once again appeared and said he couldn't find it. So this time the teacher had another boy go with him and she watched as both boys made the right at the end of the lockers.
After a bit both boys appeared and she asked the second boy if they had found it and the boy said "Yea, he had his underpants on backwards.
:w
An elderly couple went for their annual health check.
After they had seen the doctor, the nurse at reception said "sir, I am going to need a urine sample and a stool sample from you."
The gent was a bit hard of hearing and asked his wife what the nurse said.
The wife replied "just hand over your underwear, that should do."
What do you call someone with a nose but no body?
Nobody nose!
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Posting a link to YouTube version of this joke. It would lose a lot from being read on a screen.
https://youtu.be/utLW4iP4W64
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store choose a husband operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
Floor 1 - The sign reads; These men have jobs. But she goes to the next floor.
Floor 2 - The sign reads; These men have jobs and love kids. She thinks that's nice but goes to the next floor.
Floor 3 - The sign reads; These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
Floor 4 - The sign reads; These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor.
Floor 5 - The sign reads; These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - The sign reads; You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Sharing that one with the wife is probably unwise! (but so true)
I think showing her this would be worse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A25226bRYO0
OMG..!!
I just read the husband store, to my wife.
She says....that wouldn't be me..I'd have to know more particulars about the men. Like, if their wife beaters, drunks, cheaters, ect.
I'm still in tears..!!! :rofl2::roflmao:rofl2::roflmao
That was a great one, Roy. But I don't think I will be sharing it with the wife. OK, I did share it with the wife. She thought it was funny. I got a chuckle out of her from it. Better than a frying pan alongside my head.
Mark Twain had a brother named Choo-Choo
I can't believe you actually posted that my friend---Attachment 320668
It HAS to be something with the recent loss of facial hair--just HAS TO--:nj
I'll email you a bit of something about 'Trains'--
The two previous threads about the hedgehog and the Virus are not suitable for this Forum or any other Forum on this site. Please think before you post.
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
He lies awake at night pondering his doubts about whether there is or is not a dog.
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."
hear about the one armed fisherman, he caught a fish, this big
I have been worried about having kleptomania.
I went to my doctor and he said I may have to take something to cure it.