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2531LikesThread: Clean jokes
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08-01-2015, 07:42 PM #31Senior Member
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An elderly couple are in church
The woman passes a note to her husband that says, "I just passed a silent fart, what should I do?"
He turns the paper over and writes, "Get a new battery for your hearing aid".
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08-01-2015, 09:10 PM #32
Two biscuits were walking down the road, one got run over.
The other one said "crumbs"Bread and water can so easily become tea and toast
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08-01-2015, 09:13 PM #33barba crescit caput nescit
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My hope is to one day pass away like my grandfather....peacefully in his sleep.
Unlike all the screaming passengers in his car.....
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08-03-2015, 04:14 PM #34Senior Member
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Why was the cat scared of the tree?
because of its bark
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08-03-2015, 05:09 PM #35
Where do dead biscuits get buried?
CrumpitsBe yourself; everyone else is already taken.
- Oscar Wilde
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08-03-2015, 05:10 PM #36
Is that where Ed's biscuit went?
Originally Posted by Geezer
If you don't care where you are, you are not lost.
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08-03-2015, 05:26 PM #37Senior Member
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What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt!"
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08-03-2015, 08:36 PM #38Senior Member
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How do you catch a bear?
You dig a hole and burn a campfire in it all the way down to ash.
Then you sprinkle peas around the edge of the hole.
When the bear goes to take a "pea" you kick him in the "ash-hole"
What a curse be a dull razor; what a prideful comfort a sharp one
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08-03-2015, 08:42 PM #39Senior Member
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An elderly couple are laying in bed watching TV when the Mr. Lightly caresses the Mrs. up one arm, around her neck and head, then down the other arm. Just as the Mrs. Is beginning to enjoy the long awaited gentle touch of her husband he stops. "Why did you stop?", she asks. To which he replies, "cuz I found the remote."
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08-03-2015, 11:32 PM #40Senior Member
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at what age should you tell a highway it's been adopted?
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