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Thread: Clean jokes

  1. #31
    Senior Member blabbermouth bluesman7's Avatar
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    An elderly couple are in church

    The woman passes a note to her husband that says, "I just passed a silent fart, what should I do?"

    He turns the paper over and writes, "Get a new battery for your hearing aid".
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    Geezer (08-01-2015), Steel (08-03-2015)

  3. #32
    Senior Member blabbermouth edhewitt's Avatar
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    Two biscuits were walking down the road, one got run over.

    The other one said "crumbs"
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    Bread and water can so easily become tea and toast

  4. #33
    barba crescit caput nescit Phrank's Avatar
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    My hope is to one day pass away like my grandfather....peacefully in his sleep.

    Unlike all the screaming passengers in his car.....
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  5. #34
    Senior Member Ernie1980's Avatar
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    Why was the cat scared of the tree?

    because of its bark
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  6. #35
    Senior Member blabbermouth Geezer's Avatar
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    Where do dead biscuits get buried?
    Crumpits
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    Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
    - Oscar Wilde

  7. #36
    Moderator rolodave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geezer View Post
    Where do dead biscuits get buried?
    Crumpits
    Is that where Ed's biscuit went?
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost.

  8. #37
    Senior Member blabbermouth ChrisL's Avatar
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    What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt!"
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  9. #38
    Senior Member blabbermouth Steel's Avatar
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    How do you catch a bear?

    You dig a hole and burn a campfire in it all the way down to ash.

    Then you sprinkle peas around the edge of the hole.

    When the bear goes to take a "pea" you kick him in the "ash-hole"

    What a curse be a dull razor; what a prideful comfort a sharp one

  10. #39
    Senior Member blabbermouth Steel's Avatar
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    An elderly couple are laying in bed watching TV when the Mr. Lightly caresses the Mrs. up one arm, around her neck and head, then down the other arm. Just as the Mrs. Is beginning to enjoy the long awaited gentle touch of her husband he stops. "Why did you stop?", she asks. To which he replies, "cuz I found the remote."
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  11. #40
    Senior Member blabbermouth tintin's Avatar
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    at what age should you tell a highway it's been adopted?

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