Thread: Quip Of The Day

There is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "Yes" you know he is crooked.
- Groucho Marx

Churchill's Commentary on Man:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage

'Once a year, even an unloaded gun shoots'

Russian range master.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone

I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen.”

Arthur Dent in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.
-- Douglas Adams "The Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy"

"Leaks like a submarine with a screen door".

Comment left online by a disgruntled customer about a product.

"I've drank so much in my life that now on the back of MY driver's license is a list of organs I need".

Roy White

Our progress in degeneracy appears to me to be pretty rapid.
~Abraham Lincoln