Thread: Clean jokes

An elderly gent walks into a Catholic church, goes into the confessional and says to the priest, "Father, I have been happily married for 45 years, have four children, and 9 grandchildren but last night I had an affair. I had sex with two eighteen year old girls. Both of them. Twice."

The priest says, "I see. My son, when was your last confession?"

"Me? Never, I'm Jewish."

The priest says, "But.. then.. why are you telling me this?"

"Hey, I'm telling everybody!"


rs,
Tack

Why did the blonde have a coat hanger in the trunk?
-in case she locked her keys in her car
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
-spot

Originally Posted by Ernie1980

Why did the blonde have a coat hanger in the trunk?
-in case she locked her keys in her car
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
-spot

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

Teacher says to student, "Not only did George Washington chop down his father's cherry tree, but he admitted to doing it. Now Louie, why didn't his father punish him?"

Student replies, "because George still had the axe in his hand".

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple whiskey. As the bartender pours him the drink he remarks, "That's quite a stiff drink. What's wrong?"

After tossing back the drink, the man replied, "I got home early and found my wife having sex with my best friend."

"Wow," said the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple, "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. This second one is on the house."

As the man downed his second triple, the bartender asked him, "What did you do?"

"I walked over to my wife," the man replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and get the heck out."

"That makes sense," said the bartender, "but what about your friend?"

The man replied, "I walked over to him, looked him straight in the eye and said, 'BAD DOG!'"


rs,
Tack

Originally Posted by Tack

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple whiskey. As the bartender pours him the drink he remarks, "That's quite a stiff drink. What's wrong?"

After tossing back the drink, the man replied, "I got home early and found my wife having sex with my best friend."

"Wow," said the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple, "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. This second one is on the house."

As the man downed his second triple, the bartender asked him, "What did you do?"

"I walked over to my wife," the man replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and get the heck out."

"That makes sense," said the bartender, "but what about your friend?"

The man replied, "I walked over to him, looked him straight in the eye and said, 'BAD DOG!'"


rs,
Tack

I'm leaving this here as an example of when a clean joke is not a clean joke and goes over the line. Read it and learn gentlemen.

Use common sense and ask yourself would you want your children to read what you wrote????

Two lions are eating a clown. One looks at the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?".

The lion-tamer is off sick, so the RingMaster asks the clown to do the lion show instead. "Just crack the whip and poke him with the chair, it will be fine." "But," says the clown, "what if the lion really comes at me?? What do I do then?". "No problem!", says the RingMaster, "Just reach behind you, grab some poo off the floor and fling it in his face!" "But", says the clown, "how do you know there'll be poo behind me....??"

Police yesterday arrested two men. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.


Boom Boom!!

James.

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And another Larson