Thread: Clean jokes

Originally Posted by rolodave

Stealing someone's coffee is called mugging.

I thought that is what you did for the camera.

Q. What kind of car do vegans drive ?
A. An Alfalfa Romeo ?

Originally Posted by Jimbo

Wanna hear a joke about Sodium? Na.

Wanna hear a joke about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO.

James.

An old one: "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate"

I don't usually like jokes about a certain group of people (be it ethnic, religious, or whatever) because those are often not only "about" but also "against" those guys. The one below is hopefully an exception, but if someone feels offended by it please let me know and I will delete it without any doubt. This one is called "The Darwin thing"

A little black boy was playing in his room, stops a little bit and goes to see his mother.
"Mom: Why is our skin so dark?"
"This is the Darwing thing sweet. You know that Darwin says we are the cumulation of the best adaptive innovations of all the previous generations. You know that guys with lighter skins are easily harmed by strong sunlight, and we are a lot better adapted to it than them."
"Ah!"
He goes back to his room, plays a little bit, stops, and goes again with his mother.
"Mom: Why is our hair so curly?"
"This is the Darwin thing, sweet. This way an air chamber is formed and protects us against extreme heat".
"Ah!"
He goes back to his room, plays a little bit, stops, and goes again with his mother.
"Mom: Why are our nostrils so big?"
"This is the Darwin thing, sweet. This improves the heat exchange and protects us against overheating."
"Ah!"
He goes back to his room, plays a little bit, stops, and goes again with his mother.
"Mom: Why do we live in Manhattan?"

Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.

Originally Posted by Geezer

Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.

...or help you move, or lend you money, bail you out after a drunken brawl...

Our local newspaper had a pun contest. One of my friends sent in 10 puns thinking that for sure he would win the prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Had to be pun trying, though.

First day of school is finished! These are in honor of my 4th grader:

Why did the 8th grader bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to get to high school

Where do students in NY go to learn their multiplication tables?
Times Square

Mother's Day is not in May; it's the first day of school. (Peter Rappo)