Thread: Clean jokes

Originally Posted by CMOT

Two goldfish in a tank. One turns to the other and says "do you know how to drive this thing?"

Hey Hirlau......

What's the difference between a Hippopotamus and a Zippo?

One's a large animal and the other's a little lighter?

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, a slow day on SRP,,,

Originally Posted by Tack

A vitamin C deficiency is apauling.


rs,
Tack

OK, that one reminds me of another story. Not a joke, but I was amused by it...

In the late 80's I heard that Linus Pauling was coming to do a lecture. I was psyched about it and started telling co-workers about the lecture. I was appalled (OK Tack--apauled) at how few people even knew who he was, and these were people in a large genetics lab.

So the lecture took place in a hall with about 200 people, probably at least half in attendance were physicians and PhDs. When a really important person gives a lecture, someone introduces the person who introduces the actual speaker but eventually Dr. Pauling walked up to the podium. Instead of saying anything, he reached into his suit jacket pocket, pulled out an orange, and, with a huge grin on his face, placed it on the podium. He looked around the hall for any kind of response.

He got one, and only one, from me. I burst out with a too loud and too inappropriate laugh, to which Dr. Pauling responded by looking right at me with a laugh of his own! He then proceeded to give his lecture. Afterwords, several people came up to me and asked me the equivalent of "what the hell was that???"

Dr. Pauling made a joke and no one else seemed got it. He was mocking himself and the public perception of him as a newly minted whacko nut-job for his opinions about Vitamin C and he seemed to appreciate that at least one other person was willing to laugh at it.

And to make up for that one...

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
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They're really good at it!

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Re post #141

Originally Posted by cosperryan

because theres no punch line

I just got this one!!!!!!

A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"


rs,
Tack

Originally Posted by Tack

...snip...
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"rs,
Tack

Too funny by half!

Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?

She wanted chocolate milk