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Thread: Clean jokes

  1. #541
    Senior Member tintin's Avatar
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    What do you call someone with a nose but no body?

    Nobody nose!

  2. #542
    Senior Member blabbermouth evnpar's Avatar
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    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    Richard

  3. #543
    Senior Member blabbermouth Geezer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evnpar View Post
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    Then they are equal in small town Wisconsin!
    32t, Grazor, RezDog and 3 others like this.
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  4. #544
    Freight Relocation Specialist slim6596's Avatar
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    Posting a link to YouTube version of this joke. It would lose a lot from being read on a screen.

    https://youtu.be/utLW4iP4W64
    Grazor and RezDog like this.
    You always a smart***?
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  5. #545
    'with that said' cudarunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evnpar View Post
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    The Husband Store

    A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store choose a husband operates.

    You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

    Floor 1 - The sign reads; These men have jobs. But she goes to the next floor.

    Floor 2 - The sign reads; These men have jobs and love kids. She thinks that's nice but goes to the next floor.

    Floor 3 - The sign reads; These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

    Floor 4 - The sign reads; These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor.

    Floor 5 - The sign reads; These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 6 - The sign reads; You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
    onimaru55, Geezer, 32t and 7 others like this.
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  6. #546
    Senior Member tintin's Avatar
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    Sharing that one with the wife is probably unwise! (but so true)

  7. #547
    'with that said' cudarunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tintin View Post
    Sharing that one with the wife is probably unwise! (but so true)
    I think showing her this would be worse:

    Our house is as Neil left it- an Aladdin’s cave of 'stuff'.

    Kim X

  8. #548
    Senior Member blabbermouth outback's Avatar
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    OMG..!!

    I just read the husband store, to my wife.

    She says....that wouldn't be me..I'd have to know more particulars about the men. Like, if their wife beaters, drunks, cheaters, ect.

    I'm still in tears..!!!
    Mike

  9. #549
    Gatling-Gun Jerry Gasman's Avatar
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    That was a great one, Roy. But I don't think I will be sharing it with the wife. OK, I did share it with the wife. She thought it was funny. I got a chuckle out of her from it. Better than a frying pan alongside my head.
    Last edited by Gasman; 05-07-2020 at 02:28 AM.
    It's just Sharpening, right?
    Jerry...

  10. #550
    Senior Member blabbermouth spazola's Avatar
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    Mark Twain had a brother named Choo-Choo

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    RezDog (05-30-2020)

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