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Thread: Quip Of The Day

  1. #121
    Contains ingredients Tack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wvloony View Post
    If it has to be destroyed overnight, call artillery
    I like that. Sticking to the military theme:


    The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".

    The Army will post guards around the place.
    The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
    The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up headquarters there
    The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.



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  2. #122
    Senior Member jfleming9232's Avatar
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    USMC ......... Making things safe for the Army since 1775 ........
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    Last night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas..........

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  4. #123
    Contains ingredients Tack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jfleming9232 View Post
    USMC ......... Making things safe for the Army since 1775 ........
    Well, we don't want to start our own little internecine war but.. the last verse of the Marine's Hymn, which few outside the Corps ever hear, is:

    If the Army and the Navy ever look on Heaven's scenes;
    They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines.


    Bazinga!


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  5. #124
    Senior Member blabbermouth Geezer's Avatar
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    A language is a dialect that has an army and a navy. (H.L. Mencken)
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    Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
    - Oscar Wilde

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  7. #125
    barba crescit caput nescit Phrank's Avatar
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    Never bring a knife to a gun fight, and in this case, MP Bessie Braddock said to Winston Churchill:

    "Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk."

    And Winston retorts:

    "Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow
    I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."

    Ouch!!!!
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  8. #126
    Contains ingredients Tack's Avatar
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    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

    (Sorry, surrealist jokes just aren't my cup of fur.)


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  9. #127
    Senior Member blabbermouth Geezer's Avatar
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    God's OK; it's His fan club that worries me...
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  10. #128
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    I'm so wicked that when the Devil sees me he walks in the other direction.
    "The sharpening stones from time to time provide officers with gasoline."

  11. #129
    Contains ingredients Tack's Avatar
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    In ancient times sacrifices were made at the altar.. a practice which is still continued.


    rs,
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    I have great faith in fools - self confidence my friends call it.

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  13. #130
    Scheerlijk Laurens's Avatar
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    I love using a lot, but hate spilling a little.
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