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Thread: Quip Of The Day

  1. #961
    barba crescit caput nescit Phrank's Avatar
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    A doctor was addressing a large audience. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

    After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

  2. #962
    'with that said' cudarunner's Avatar
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    ............
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    Our house is as Neil left it- an Aladdin’s cave of 'stuff'.

    Kim X

  3. #963
    Contains ingredients Tack's Avatar
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    The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.



    rs,
    Tack
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    I have great faith in fools - self confidence my friends call it.

  4. #964
    Senior Member blabbermouth Geezer's Avatar
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    I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

    ~Richard
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    Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
    - Oscar Wilde

  5. #965
    Contains ingredients Tack's Avatar
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    You know what I did before I married?
    Anything I wanted to.



    We're kinda piling on marriage.. but HNSB started it!



    rs,
    Tack
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    I have great faith in fools - self confidence my friends call it.

  6. #966
    32t
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    Senior Member blabbermouth 32t's Avatar
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    If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws
    Laurens likes this.

  7. #967
    Senior Member blabbermouth Geezer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tack View Post
    You know what I did before I married?
    Anything I wanted to.We're kinda piling on marriage.. but HNSB started it!
    rs,
    Tack
    HNSB got married?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
    - Oscar Wilde

  8. #968
    This is not my actual head. HNSB's Avatar
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    Don't worry. If it's like my marriage, the misery will end soon!
    Geezer and Tack like this.

    Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

  9. #969
    Senior Member Yves81's Avatar
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    My wife and I are happily married.
    She's happy and I'm married.
    Sometimes I feel normal.
    Then it's time to lay down and wait for it to pass.

  10. #970
    Senior Member grizli's Avatar
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    Just spent the morning in an IPSC match. One of the guys, when asked how he's doing, said he keeps missing his ex. But it's OK, he said, his aim is improving...

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