Thread: Quip Of The Day

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. --Patrick Murray


rs,
Tack

Reading all these comments I realize "A woman requires a listener to talk at and complain to about everything that does not meet her fancy and all the problems she has...Women do not listen to each other. Where I usually screw up is; while listening, I make a suggestion as to how to improve a situation she is bi^&1ng about! Bad trouble immediately! "You insensitive ass" etc.
~Richard

Once again, a little more than a quip but I figured you would all enjoy it. More proof to my theory that Codgers Rule!

A balding, white haired man from Naples , Florida , walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds, and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said: 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man,

'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'

See . . . . . . Not All Seniors Are Senile.

Originally Posted by Geezer

Reading all these comments I realize "A woman requires a listener to talk at and complain to about everything that does not meet her fancy and all the problems she has...Women do not listen to each other. Where I usually screw up is; while listening, I make a suggestion as to how to improve a situation she is bi^&1ng about! Bad trouble immediately! "You insensitive ass" etc.
~Richard

Glad to hear I'm not the lone stranger on this one. I've been married to the same woman for over 30 years and the incident described STILL happens to me. In the world of logic, if someone I care about voices concern over a problem and I solve that problem, I've done them a favor. Worse yet is when you take the safe escape, do nothing and several weeks later you get the "I told you about it and you didn't even care enough to get off your keister and solve my problem. You never listen!" complaint. I've tried very hard to adapt over the years but to be honest, The People's Republic of Estrogen is still a very strange and enigmatic place that frankly scares the crap out of me. Can you imagine having a mind that can actually file some of this behavior under "Rational" or "Sane"? I'll tell you, it's just frightening.

I figured out that renting was better than buying after about 14 years of that. Loneliness may not be next to godliness, but it sure beats being pummeled by she who must be obeyed! 35 years of single existence seems to have set me in my ways. Some of my friends have been a bit estrogenated almost out of their minds over the years. Seems when menopause sets in the womans' mouths work overtime and the brain gets shrewd and the kids are all the gals think about and can spend the entire males' retirement pittance upon!

No, I am not quite a misogynist, howsomever I may approach that lofty ideal upon occasion!
To all you who remain married and those that don't, Fare well and be well!
~Richard

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,give me 3 Tylenol after that one,,Geezer,,

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Originally Posted by Hirlau

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,give me 3 Tylenol after that one,,Geezer,,

Either that or Tylenol #3.

Look out for #1.. and don't step in #2, either.



rs,
Tack

Im going to live forever... Im so sure, Id bet my life on it.