Thread: Quip Of The Day

Originally Posted by Geezer

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Huh? Whadyasay?

Originally Posted by rolodave

A feminist once noted men smell funny. Especially when they are on fire.

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Stolen from Liliy Tomlin:
"There will be sex after death, we just won't feel it."

Originally Posted by MikeB52

Stolen from Liliy Tomlin:
"There will be sex after death, we just won't feel it."

Gosh !!....I hope she's wrong

You know nothing about a woman until she's drunk and mad at you.


rs,
Tack

When asked how old I am, I usually respond I'm older than dirt. When they dispute that, saying I can't be that old, I simply reply, "You're right, I lied. I was actually the rec director for the Garden of Eden". My second job was directing parking for the manger and inspecting the gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Aren't you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'


rs,
Tack

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door...

-- Coco Chanel,
fashion designer

After years of research, scientists recently reported that there is, indeed, arroz in Spanish Harlem.


rs,
Tack

A mans walking through the park one day and comes upon an old man sitting on a bench sobbing.
"Excuse me sir," he asks, " is everything all right?"
The old man looks up, eyes awash in tears and says to the stranger.
" son, I'm a 75 year old man and I have a 29 year old wife. She's tall, blond, stacked out to here, and has a really good head on her shoulders. Every morning I wake up to amazing sex, coffee, and all bran. She makes me healthy lunches, more amazing sex after lunch, and does my laundry. At night, great dinners, yet more epic sexual romps, and draws me a warm bath before tucking me in at 8:30, kissing me gently, and telling me she loves me."
The stranger looks at the old man incredulously and says, " with all that going for you sir, why on earth are you sitting here alone crying to yourself?"
The old man begins to tear up again, " because I forgot where I live!"