Thread: Quip Of The Day

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, "It would defeat the purpose."

You hate corporations you say? Please Tweet all about it from your iPhone.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator replies "How do you know?" And, the man says "Well, the sex is the same, but the dirty laundry is really piling up."

You frequently wear Tap Out shirts? Please tell me about all the ass you've kicked.

In the immortal words of Pee Wee Herman, "I know you are, but what am I?"

Originally Posted by TaipeiJake

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator replies "How do you know?" And, the man says "Well, the sex is the same, but the dirty laundry is really piling up."

Guns are the source of crime? Right, and umbrellas are responsible for it raining...

I love those who yearn for the impossible.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Originally Posted by broger

Guns are the source of crime? Right, and umbrellas are responsible for it raining...

"In England the police don't have guns so they yell stop! Or I'll yell stop again"!

A semi-quote from comedian Robin Williams performance at the Metropolitan Opera House. It's a semi-quote as it's been years since I've seen it!

I don't always have Alzheimer's, but when I do, I don't always have Alzheimer's.