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16508LikesThread: Quip Of The Day
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03-13-2014, 03:53 AM #1131Senior Member
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My old Saskatoon neighbor, Holden, is in trouble again.
This time for forgetting his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. So she told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds." "AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning Holden got up very early and left the house. When his wife awakened, she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a gift wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe, went out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house. She opened the box and found a brand new bathroom scale!
Please pray for Holden, he's been missing since last Friday!Tallow soap is good cholesterol
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03-13-2014, 04:37 AM #1132barba crescit caput nescit
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Marital Bliss....aahh, makes your heart sing.
A thoughtful Scottish Husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub.
He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘Maggie - put your hat and coat on, lassie.’
She replied, 'Awe Jock that's nice - are you taking me to the pub with you?'
'Nay,’ Jock replied ‘I'm turning the heat off while I'm out.'
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03-13-2014, 02:03 PM #1133
" Take my wife..Please!!!"
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
- Oscar Wilde
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03-23-2014, 02:13 PM #1134Member
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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Yogi Berra
32t likes this.I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. Arthur Rubinstein
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03-23-2014, 03:24 PM #1135Stay calm. Carry on.
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A sadist is someone who's nice to a masochist.
"We'll talk, if you like. I'll tell you right out, I am a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk."
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03-30-2014, 04:57 PM #1136Stay calm. Carry on.
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"Personally I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband, if she'll fool a husband she'll fool me."
- Mike O'Hara
The Lady from ShanghaiGeezer likes this."We'll talk, if you like. I'll tell you right out, I am a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk."
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03-30-2014, 05:46 PM #1137
A girlfriend is like summer storm. Here today and blown over tomorrow.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
- Oscar Wilde
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04-08-2014, 05:36 PM #1138Senior Member
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If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error
-- John Kenneth Galbraith,
Canadian-American economist32t likes this.Support Movember!
Movember https://mobro.co/markcastellana?mc=1
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04-08-2014, 06:01 PM #1139Member
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark TwainMJC likes this.
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04-11-2014, 08:07 AM #1140This is not my actual head.
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I was trying to remember the definition of 'nebulous'... The details are fuzzy.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
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